


the devil's in the details (you've got a friend in me)

by jbhmalum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, not between michael and ashton though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26431546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbhmalum/pseuds/jbhmalum
Summary: "I'm sorry I didn't call ahead. It's," he sighs, sniffs once before looking Ashton in the eyes again, "you said I could always come to you if something was wrong, no matter what. Even after-""Hey, I know. I meant it. I'm glad you came to me."**or: Michael shows up at Ashton's house in distress. They haven't talked in months.
Relationships: Michael Clifford/Ashton Irwin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 43





	the devil's in the details (you've got a friend in me)

**Author's Note:**

> hello so this is originally a [prompt](https://jbhmalum.tumblr.com/post/629172841766699008/another-mashton-prompt-because-i-love-how-you) I wrote for maggie however this ended up way longer than i wanted bc I do not know how to be concise so I decided to post it here as well!
> 
> yes this is totally me projecting my biggest fear and worse case scenario of me coming out. but it's all good so. enjoy!

Ashton puts the last of the dishes on the drying rack, washes his hands and looks around the kitchen to make sure it’s tidy enough. He’s not a maniac, far from it. In fact, his bedroom is a complete disaster most days, clothes and textbooks and art supplies lying around where they don’t belong. That doesn't mean he can't like his kitchen clean.

Once he’s decided the space is the way he likes it, he showers and brushes his teeth before dropping himself on the couch, a loud sigh escaping him. Today’s been a long day between work and his evening classes, and he’s only now getting a chance to relax. He usually likes cooking, even for himself, but now he’s rethinking not accepting his mom’s ready-to-go meals to bring for the week because spending at least half an hour cooking every night is getting tiring.

But now he can cool down, not worry about anything for a while and think about the weekend he’s gonna spend doing absolutely nothing.

He’s barely a chapter into his book when there’s a knock at the door. His first instinct is to ignore it. It’s late and he doesn’t want to get murdered for being an idiot and answering the door at this hour. The knocking starts again though, so he puts down his book and reluctantly heads towards the door.

There’s no peephole, which he is immensely regretful of at the moment, so he just stays behind the door, not sure what to do. There’s another knock, sounding more pressing this time around, so Ashton just throws caution to the wind and opens the door to reveal the last person he was expecting to see tonight.

“Michael?”

He sounds breathless to his own ears, and he might have felt embarrassed about it if he thought Michael was paying attention to it. As it is, the other boy looks like a beautiful mess, arms wrapped around himself in a big sweater, eyes puffy from what Ashton assumes is crying, wet hair plastered to his face. It’s then Ashton realizes it’s been raining outside.

“Hey, Ash,” Michael says back, and oh but Ashton has missed hearing his voice. It’s scratchy and hoarse, a far cry from his usual smooth sounding tone, but Ashton knows that version of it just as well, sadly.

Their eyes stay locked on each other's for a second, as if taking in the fact that they're here, in front of each other after ten long months without any sort of contact between the two of them. And even in that state, Michael is still as breathtaking as Ashton remembers.

“Are you okay? Did you- did you need anything?”

“No.”

“Mike.”

“What?”

Ashton's brow furrows at Michael's shaky voice.

“You didn’t come here at ten on a Friday evening to just stand on my doorstep, did you?”

There’s a pause, and Ashton’s ears tune into the soft rain falling on the porch, rending the scene before him even more familiar than it already is. Michael is fiddling with his hands, bottom lip caught between his teeth, and he won’t look Ashton in the eyes. A clear sign that he’s nervous, so Ashton doesn’t ask again, just waits patiently where he’s leaning in the doorway until Michael’s ready.

"Can I come in?" 

"Why do you-" 

"You don't have to say yes, but-" 

“No, I mean, of course you can come in," Ashton hurries to say because he can feel Michael's trembling increasing, in his voice and body both. "I just- I didn’t expect you here, is all.”

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry I didn't call ahead. It's," he sighs, sniffs once before looking Ashton in the eyes again, "you said I could always come to you if something was wrong, no matter what. Even after-" 

"Hey, I know. I meant it. I'm glad you came to me."

He can see Michael's shoulders slouch in relief, and the grip he has on himself slightens just a bit as Ashton motions for him to come inside. 

Ashton goes to the bathroom to fetch a towel for Michael to dry his face with. The boy takes it, uses it maybe a tad too roughly on his face before removing his shoes and standing there in the hallway, looking lost. 

"Don't just stand there," Ashton says out loud, "come on in."

Ashton leads the way to his bedroom and winces at the state of it. Michael just shrugs it off when he apologizes for it, claiming his head is messier than that, anyway. 

After Michael has taken a shower — Ashton insisted on it, he looked miserable in his drenched clothes — and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from Ashton's drawer, they both sit at the foot of Ashton's bed, close enough to feel each other’s warmth but still at a respectable distance.

It’s clear Michael is trying to calm himself down. Ashton’s sure he heard him crying in the bathroom, so he lets him get himself together and takes the time to really look at him. He hasn’t changed too much since the last time he saw him. Sure, his hair is now a dirty blond instead of the rose gold Ashton remembers falling in love with. He’s now wearing earrings, bold and dark, which is something Michael had been talking about wanting to do for years. His cheeks look a bit more sunken in and he looks paler than usual, but that’s maybe just to do with the emotional state he’s in right now. Other than that, he's still the same Michael. 

“What happened?” Ashton asks when a few minutes have passed, the silence starting to feel a bit awkward.

“It’s stupid,” Michael whispers. He’s rubbing his eyes roughly again, so Ashton takes his hands from him, rubbing the palm of them with his thumbs. Michael’s skin is as baby soft as he remembers it being, and it sparks a dormant feeling of protectiveness out of him.

“It’s not stupid if it’s making you upset enough to come here, Mike.”

He can see Michael pondering about it before letting out a sigh. “I got into a fight with my parents.” His lips start trembling again, and he catches the lower one to try and steady it, but he's not very successful.

“About what?”

“Hum. About– about coming out,” Michael says in a small voice, eyes filling with tears, and Ashton’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh no, babe, I’m so sorry,” the pet name escapes him without thinking but he doesn’t pay attention to it, wraps himself around Michael as much as he physically can instead. Michael’s arms snake around his middle to squeeze him tight, loud sobs wracking his body as he lets himself go.

Seeing Michael distraught and broken is not a new thing for Ashton. Michael has always worn his heart on his sleeve, and it got him hurt enough times to become an issue that Ashton has had to deal with a number of times. ‘Deal with’ maybe isn’t the right way to put it. Ashton would have done anything for him and taking care of him when he was at his lowest was never a burden.

So, he’s used to seeing Michael in a state of despair, no matter how long it’s been, but this feels different. It doesn’t feel like a surprise, that this would happen. The memory of hanging out at Michael’s house back in high school and overhearing Michael’s parents say awful, awful things about legalising same sex marriage and about how it was all _wrong_ , not knowing their own son was struggling with this himself, is still fresh in Ashton’s mind.

He’d had to comfort Michael so many times, holding him and making sure he knew he was normal and cherished and loved. Michael would believe Ashton loved him, he never doubted that part, but hearing his parents completely pull apart a part of his identity destroyed him. Ashton remembers Michael slowly burying this at the back of his mind throughout the years after that, telling Ashton that he’d just never come out to them unless he got married or something else major. That they didn’t deserve to know.

Apparently he’d changed his mind about that.

“I didn’t know who else to come to about this.” Michael’s voice comes hoarse and brittle after long minutes of sobbing into Ashton’s neck. He can feel wetness where his neck meets his shoulder, and sadness tears at his chest at Michael’s sorrow for a family that doesn’t deserve him. “I’m sorry.”

Ashton squeezes him tighter in response, as if he could hug the pain out of Michael with his body. He can’t, but he knows Michael came here because he knew Ashton would understand, and he does. He doesn’t even need to ask him what went down, it doesn’t matter. It went sour, enough for Michael to seek Ashton’s comfort, and Ashton _understands_.

He understands the anxiety that must have followed Michael like a shadow for days if not weeks before he mustered up the courage to say something, he understands the fear that must have been clawing at his gut at the thought of being rejected, and he understands the crushing disappointment when he _was_. He understands how alone Michael feels right now and he understands why the sole source of comfort he felt comfortable chasing was from his ex-boyfriend he hasn’t talked to in almost a year.

They stay like this for a long while, Michael holding on to him for dear life, Ashton supporting him lest he falls apart even more, the rain coming down heavier than earlier almost drowning the sounds of Michael’s cries, until he’s too drained to do it anymore.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Michael asks a bit more steadily as he shuffles back on the bed, hands back on his lap as he fiddles with the too long sleeves of his shirt. Ashton feels cold instantly. “I don’t think they want me back there tonight.”

“Yeah, of course. You can stay here as long as you want.”

“Oh no, I don’t want-”

“Michael,” Ashton interrupts, making sure he has Michael’s attention. “I need you to be safe. Can you tell me you’ll feel safe going back home?”

“I don’t know, surely it won’t be that bad.”

“You don’t seem very sure, Mike.”

A stray tear falls down Michael’s cheek until it lands on his hands before bringing them up to wipe his blotchy face. Ashton pries them away before he starts rubbing at it too hard again and cups Michael’s face instead, tilts it slightly so that they’re looking each other in the eyes. Michael’s are red-rimmed and filled with hurt, and it makes Ashton’s heart ache again so he brings his lips to Michael’s forehead, lingering there for a second as he feels him let out a relieved sigh.

“I need you safe,” Ashton parrots as he leans back. “So you’re going to stay here, and not just tonight, alright?”

“Yeah, okay.”

No matter what he says, the relief is clear on Michael's face, in the way his whole body relaxes. His eyes are locked onto Ashton’s, a hint of the usual spark in them, and relief flows through Ashton’s body in return. He threw Michael a lifeline at the boy's distress call, and he grabbed onto it, finally, and Ashton is going to ensure he stays ashore, away from the things that would hurt him without a moment's notice.

(As they prepare for sleep, and ultimately end up in Ashton’s bed after he refuses to let Michael sleep on the couch, Ashton promises himself he’ll do everything once again to make sure Michael feels loved. Because he is. Ashton has never stopped loving him, and he isn’t planning on doing so anytime soon.)

**Author's Note:**

> as always I'm on tumblr [@jbhmalum](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jbhmalum) if you fancy having a chat


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